A crash.
Let me recap my 2024 so far for you.
Jan 1- Jan 11: India
Jan 11-Feb 1: Tulsa (home)
Feb 1-Feb 20: Memphis
I have only been home for 2.5 weeks of this new year. That doesn't bother me but for the rest of the time I have been with people in one capacity or another.
At home I can truly be alone and do as I please without commentary, this is very important for me as it helps me be able to show up in a way that I want.
I have been challenged by the near constant interaction and today I feel that I have crashed a bit.
I am in Memphis to be with and help family and I don't mind but it does come at a cost to my own mental landscape. One day I'd like to see that I am capable of removing the need for alone time but that's just not where I'm at today.
This is how I am coping knowing that I've hit my limit today:
I decided to skip salsa class (tomorrow I will go to Bachata and a social, conserving energy for that)
I took a hot bath.
I am staying…alone and withdrawing from interaction (with anyone) for the evening.
I'm listening to Watts 😅…listening to philosophy can be a good mental bath for me(noise cancelling headphones too).
Simple little things that will hopefully give me some relief so I can be back to myself tomorrow.
Side note, I am missing my cat so much 😭😭😭. It has been hard to be away from my lil buddy.
My friend sent me this photo though, it's funny…he's kind of expressing how I feel rn in this pic 😅.
One more week to go here and then I will hole up in my apartment and be renewed by the comfort of my own space, both mental and physical.
